


I Don't Know What You Want (but I Can't Give It Any More)

by Lothiriel84



Series: What have I done to deserve this? [2]
Category: MarsCorp (Podcast)
Genre: I Don't Even Know, M/M, Mentor/Protégé, Mild Language, Pining, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 09:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15139775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lothiriel84/pseuds/Lothiriel84
Summary: Then we'll get to the factthat it's always my fault just becauseYou're breaking my heart





	I Don't Know What You Want (but I Can't Give It Any More)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eruthiel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eruthiel/gifts).



“Hey, what’s wrong, buddy? You know you can tell me, right?”

David cringed inwardly, very nearly broke the pen he was using to write his calculations down; if only the universe could just give him a break – was that really too much to ask? He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that fateful night, not really; yet he had thought he was at least getting to the stage where the constant pain in his chest would relent a little and allow him to go about his daily tasks without feeling like he was being torn apart from the inside. No such luck, of course; there was no way Colin would let sleeping dogs lie – never mind that David was probably the only person in the entire Base who knew what that old-fashioned Earthling expression actually meant – even as he kept behaving like the – incident, as David used to refer to it in his mind, had never happened.

To add insult to injury, his blasted miniature model of the Door had been lying on Colin’s desk ever since; the man had eventually figured out how to repair it, even as David himself wished he could smash the offending object to pieces and chuck those in the bin. It didn’t matter that Colin kept on claiming that was the best gift he’d ever been given; he still wished he had never even thought of building it, and above everything, that he hadn’t had the absolutely terrible idea of infiltrating Colin’s birthday party in order to hand it to him.

He stared at all the crossed-out chunks of calculations scattered across the page, blinked a few times as he sternly reminded himself that he shouldn’t under any circumstance let Colin see him cry; the very last thing he needed was to make even more of a fool of himself in front of the man he – admired, he corrected himself at the last moment, hastily adding a minor correction to the paper he was bound to hand in far too soon.

A warm, soothing hand landed on his shoulder, and he flinched a little as he desperately struggled to keep his composure. He wasn’t sure how long he could go on like this – pretending that nothing had happened, feigning a camaraderie he couldn’t bring himself to feel anymore; it was easy for Colin to make it all about the ‘Quantum Bastard Bros’ and their secret project, but the truth was that David just didn’t know how to behave around him anymore, and the stress of constantly acting as if nothing had happened was taking its toll on his already frazzled nerves.

“If this is about my birthday party,” Colin started, his voice as gentle as ever, yet David didn’t let him finish that sentence.

“Please, just – don’t. I get it. Contrary to popular opinion, I’m not that stupid.”

“I never said you were,” Colin added quietly, his hand still resting on David’s shoulder. “Look, man, it’s not what you think.”

“It hardly ever is, right?” he chuckled, humourlessly. “I think I’m just going to pop down to the Culture Department, see if there’s anything useful in those old books from the Quantum Relativity section.”

Colin finally let his shoulder go, only to grab a chair and sit backwards on it, as he always did because he thought it made him look cool. “I’m not going to say kissing you at the party was a mistake, because it clearly wasn’t. All I’m saying is, it’s not an advisable course of action, for either of us.”

“You can just say you don’t fancy me, you know. I’m not going to throw a tantrum or anything.”

“David, you don’t understand,” Colin started, pausing mid-sentence to run his fingers through his already perfect hair. “There’s nothing I want more than to kiss you – hell, I’d love to bend you over that lab bench and bugger you senseless, for that matter – but I’m afraid it will have to wait.”

“What for? I’m sixteen, Colin – I’m not a child anymore.”

“I was thinking something more along the lines of, until our portal is up and running, and we can finally get out of this hellhole.”

David’s lips were trembling by now, but he just couldn’t stop himself. “What if I refuse to help you unless – unless you,” he trailed off all of a sudden, instinctively braced himself for a bout of derisive laughter than never came.

“Hmm, but you’re a stubborn little thing, aren’t you? I like that in a lover.”

With that, he leaned over the chair’s back, his fingers brushing lightly at David’s chin. The boy was having a hard time processing what was happening, his brain had sort of blanked out at the way Colin’s voice had dropped almost a full octave as he uttered the word ‘lover’.

The next thing he knew Colin was kissing him in earnest, and he sure as hell hoped the way his heart was hammering in his chest didn’t mean he was going to have a heart attack; that would be an unpardonable waste of such a perfect moment, though he honestly couldn’t think of a better way to die, if he had to.

“Now, be a good lad and finish those calculations, will you? I’m afraid I never properly thanked you for my birthday present, but I think I’ve got just the perfect thing back in my quarters.”

David nodded meekly, and leant forward to steal another quick kiss.


End file.
